How do you want to feel?
If you’re one of the lucky ones I recently bored senseless with the incessant flood of sun-filled photos on my Instagram feed (you’re welcome), you’ll know that Beloved and I have just returned from the Greek island of Rhodes.
Ahhhh…. Sun, Sea, Sand and Gin. Bliss.
Like most aspirin-skinned Brits, my top three reasons for a holiday are to relax, escape the dismal UK weather and enjoy some sun on my bones. But not only was this a wonderfully relaxing break, where we celebrated both my Birthday and our Wedding Anniversary, our holiday also turned out to be something of a revelation.
So it turns out that two weeks in a beach-front hotel creates exactly the right conditions for manifesting change.
Sure, the power of vegging-out on a sunbed and catching rays cannot be under-estimated. But factor in an uninterrupted, 180-degree view of the sea and the sound of waves crashing against the shore and I. was. in. heaven.
A year ago, I joined a revolution.
Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map is a self-development program that empowers you to live life according to the way you want to feel. At its heart are Core Desired Feelings, or CDFs – those feelings that fire your passions, that make you strive for your goals, that make you feel alive.
Whether we’re aware of it or not, our feelings drive our decisions.
We buy that dress, those shoes, that handbag… because we think they will make us feel good.
We work out and eat healthily, because it helps us to lose weight… which we think will make us feel good.
We change jobs, to earn more money, to buy more things… because we think they will make us feel good.
We end bad relationships… because they no longer make us feel good.
The Desire Map is about delving deep and discovering that part of you which really makes you tick.
And having the courage to live your life according to those feelings.
Living life doing only things that make you feel good?
Seems like a no-brainer to me!
I went through The Desire Map via a Book Club, run by Holly Hinton. I met Holly during a particularly low point, three months after moving to OneandSeventy. I went to her for some Crystal Therapy and since then, she has become a close friend, client, mentor and life-saver.
To be honest, my first pass at The Desire Map didn’t yield the results I’d hoped. I struggled to identify my CDFs, which in turned dimmed my passion for the program.
However what The Desire Map DID bring me, was the friendship of two beautiful women – Holly and Mandy, who was going through the program with me – two amazing ladies and fellow local business owners who, quite frankly, have saved my sanity on more than one occasion and who, in the past year, have helped to build my confidence exponentially.
The Universe clearly had its own ideas about what I did and didn’t need at that time.
Funny how that happens.
For a year, my Core Desired Feelings continued to elude me.
I was stuck.
How DID I want to feel? What WERE those primal, gut feelings that made me giddy with elation, or left me feeling uninspired and listless?
Holly became a UK licensed facilitator of the Desire Map program; the first in the Midlands, if you please (go Holly!). Her workload increasing, she hired me as her Personal Assistant, giving me a front row seat at her very first Desire Map Workshop.
I went through the program again, with another group of inspiring women yet still I could not anchor down my CDFs.
I banded around words like “emotionally-shielded”, “respected”, “worthy” and “strength” but none of them felt quite right. It was becoming increasingly frustrating and I’m sure Beloved was sick to the back teeth of me banging on about it.
Meanwhile, the Desire Map brought me another unexpected bonus – a second Desire Map Licensee and the realisation that soul-inspired business owners were my ideal clients.
Before I went on holiday, I acquired a copy of Danielle LaPorte’s “Firestarter Sessions” – the pre-cursor to The Desire Map. I loaded the audio files onto my iPhone and set off for Rhodes with the intention of “improving myself” while on holiday.
For a whole week, I did nothing.
And I mean.
Well, apart from eat and drink. Of course.
(Well come on… I haven’t entirely taken leave of myself!)
Seriously though, I indulged in (almost!) none of my usual holiday staples that first week. I didn’t so much as pick up a book, or listen to music and I hardly did any swimming. Most unlike me.
I didn’t check e-mail or log into Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or Pinterest. Hell, I just about found the motivation to post the odd snap to Instagram.
I totally disconnected. (I know. I can hardly believe it myself.)
It felt deliciously liberating.
I had zero energy and zero inclination to do anything. After sleeping 11 hours a night, I then spent several hours dozing during the day. When I wasn’t sleeping, I gazed hypnotically at the sea and zoned out.
As we entered the second week, I felt like a computer being re-booted. My batteries were about 50% charged when I finally picked up my iPhone for something other than capturing the view or a cocktail.
With one eye firmly on the sea, I tuned into The Firestarter Sessions.
There, on a sun lounger under the Greek sun, watching the sea…
One of THE biggest Ah Ha! moments of my entire life.
I discovered IT.
The basis of my happiness.
The root of everything I do.
My Life, the Universe and Everything.
My 42. (If you get it, you rock!)
I realised my raison d’être. The thing that drives my goals, my relationships, my shopping habits, my business, this blog.
That thing which defines me.
I finally discovered…
My Core Desired Feelings
I want to feel IMPORTANT.
I want to feel the need for STYLE, but it absolutely must have SUBSTANCE (check out my previous post for a classic example)
I want to feel SECURE – in myself and financially.
I want to feel ENTHUSED about life – I want to feel excited about getting up in the morning.
These are the feelings that speak to the very essence of my being, that bring me the most joy.
These are the feelings I yearn for in everything I do, without even realising it.
I cannot tell you how utterly amazing this is! The realisations this knowledge has unlocked for me are many, massive and…well, priceless.
Thank you Holly.
Thank you Danielle.
Thank you Desire Map.
If you want to live a life you love and love the life you live, I cannot recommend this program highly enough. Get yourself over to daniellelaporte.com to get started.
Or, if you prefer a more local approach and you’re in Staffordshire or the surrounding areas, you might want to book in for one of Holly’s workshops. She runs both in-person events, as well as virtual one-to-one sessions.
How do you want to feel?